So, when are you expecting?
Over the years, I've manage to be successful at losing weight. I have never been successful at keeping it off. It's painstakingly obvious why I don't keep it off. It's pretty much a mixture of fad diets, black market diet pills, and not eating healthy or exercising once I've gotten my sexy back. Bottom line, I work hard to get it off but I don't work at all to maintain the loss. Then I get lazy, lose my mind, and fall back into bad habits.
The older I get I've noticed I have to put far more effort into the weight loss regime. I can't get through an entire week doing the right things aka healthy eating and exercising. I can't even fast without a food binge crash and burn. But now I'm about to put my foot down. What's different this time you ask? Well, even if you didn't I'm going to tell you. I'm getting sexy for my success! That's my new mantra. I want to be the face of my brand. I want to feel good about myself. I want to be healthy. I want to take a full body pic again. I want updated pics on this site (the pics I have are from 3 years ago, my last "skinny" stint). I no longer want to be reluctant to flirt with a guy I think is worthy of my lady lumps. I want to be a MILF before the kid is in high school. I want to get off my blood pressure medication. I want to jog through my neighborhood with a homemade "shank"!
Step one - This post. I'm really embarrassed. Not just about my size, but about the way I feel about myself. I'm ashamed. I literally don't go out when I visit my hometown because I don't want to see anyone I haven't seen in a while. I hideout. I've never opened up about how I truly feel. I need to have a sense of accountability. I'm putting it on the internet. It's out of my head and onto the world wide web. Can't take this back. I think I'm having a panic attack.
Step two - Start my life again on Ash Wednesday. The Lenten season is the only time in my life when I strictly practice penance. I never give in to whatever I abstain from or falter from giving what I have vowed during that time. This year will be no different. I'm super freaking out right now as I type this. My ears are turning red. Needless to say, I'm nervous. But I've got faith. Pray for me y'all.
Step three - Get 'er done! I'm looking forward to this change. I feel the fear that I've felt before when embarking on a new journey and it was always worth it. I'm thankful for the feeling I felt earlier when I was asked if I was pregnant that has jump started this change. P.S. Don't EVER ask a woman if she is pregnant unless you are an OB/GYN and you are speaking to your patient and her pregnancy test just came back positive! Tuh!
I'll keep you guys posted on my progress.